Guidance From The Wise Ones

[Lori]

Interesting read, MC. Here we are again, agreeing the BALANCE is key. Too lenient...oof! Too strict...oof! I always said I will not take credit for my kiddo and his accomplishments because I would have to accept blame for the opposite. I'm so glad, however, that I didn't have a Tiger Mom. Can you imagine molding your kids so actively? What if how you see them is not how they want to see themselves? Good thing we are all perfect parents!

[DawnFae]

[DawnFae]

[Lori]

Ahhhhhh!!! Deep, calm sighs!!!

[Dee]

As I’m progressing further and further on the path of Mindfulness, I’ve found this summary of the fundamental mindful attitudes absolutely brilliant. These are the attitudes we develop in meditation, and hope they will transpire into our everyday living.

Jon Kabat Zinn created the first mindfulness based therapy, (primarily for stress reduction).

[Lori]

My COVID-19 fellow captive and I watched this last night. We enjoyed it very much and felt it really helpful. On one hand, it was nice to know that we do hit a lot of points in our everyday approach. We have that luxury perhaps as our wheels can slow down now that we are without kids constantly, etc. I think the portion regarding respecting one’s body and its functioning was something I lack and was a great reminder. I really do love the overall bent. Of course, some favs were the final two - gratefulness and generosity which were sweet icing on the life cake. Thank you for sharing. The beauty of these "lessons" is they walk with you going forward. I thought about it a lot during the day which was a nice surprise.

[Dee]

Yes. They are truly the best life lessons there are. And indeed, it's lovely to know that ticking some of these boxes come very naturally!

But there's always room for improvement on ourselves, and to do that with gentleness is another challenge in itself. There's something to be said for a diet that comes from getting really cross with oneself.

But yes, in all seriousness, this man is right about everything.

I'm so glad to hear you two lovely lovelies have watched it and found food for thought in JKZ's descriptions of the necessary attitudes to make us happy.

My main focus currently is the first attitude: 'beginner's mind'. I love this concept of marveling at everything as if it was the first time. And with the lockdown, we have so much time and mental space to explore the depth of meaning to this idea.

[Lori]

Yes! I loved the concept of a "beginner's mind" too. That likely manifests most easily when in the company of children. Their "fresh on the earth" aura spreads like a wonderful....virus dandelion gone to seed.

Often, I have to stop my clouded sheathed mind and be present in certain conversations and situations, and truly tap into a person's spirit, look in their eyes, gently remind myself they are wonderful, interesting, giving humans and I would benefit from stopping the noise and giving this moment its due. That translates to our surroundings also, doesn't it? We become blind to the sweet details around us.

Interesting that all of these things are intertwined and build upon each other. When we can clear our mental chatter and notice the beauty around us with a "beginner's mind", doesn't that naturally lead to gratitude? These are definitely base stepping stones leading to fulfilling places.

Really great stuff!

[Dee]

Yes! I loved the concept of a "beginner's mind" too. That likely manifests most easily when in the company of children. Their "fresh on the earth" aura spreads like a wonderful....virus dandelion gone to seed.

Yes, it can be very contagious to see their wonderment and thrill when encountering something new for the first time, like an animal, or bubbles, or icecream...

Isn't it just awful that we lose this excitement with w "been there done that seen it all before" attitude. Yet, just by reminding ourselves to look again, engaging the "beginner's mind", we can rekindle some of this wonder.

One of my greatest regrets has always been that we can't experience the "falling in love" part of our relationship again, even if it is followed by other rich and layered experiences. There is something so exciting about the beginning. (Actually, not just the beginning of love, but of everything really.) So maybe, with activating the beginner's mind, we can re-live some of that excitement. I'm working on it.

Because I find it is really working with most things.

Often, I have to stop my clouded sheathed mind and be present in certain conversations and situations, and truly tap into a person's spirit, look in their eyes, gently remind myself they are wonderful, interesting, giving humans and I would benefit from stopping the noise and giving this moment its due.

So easily done. And perhaps sometimes, because our mind is only half engaged, we fail to ask the right questions in these situations, something that could actually lead to deeper, more interesting terrains in a conversation. And even if there is little chance of that, it can be still rewarding in other ways to be fully engaged for a short while. Again we need to keep reminding ourselves to stay in the moment.

That translates to our surroundings also, doesn't it? We become blind to the sweet details around us.

It is so annoyingly true. I've noticed things in town on our last few walks I haven't seen before, and I've lived here for 22 years.

Interesting that all of these things are intertwined and build upon each other. When we can clear our mental chatter and notice the beauty around us with a "beginner's mind", doesn't that naturally lead to gratitude? These are definitely base stepping stones leading to fulfilling places.

I really like how you've worded that: "base stepping stones leading to fulfilling places".

[NurseRatched]

The mindfulness discussion reminded me of a book I started reading years ago; I didn't have the "maturity" to finish it, I guess. As a companion to the videos, I'm going to pick it up again.
“If while washing dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were
a nuisance, then we are not "washing the dishes to wash the dishes." What's more, we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes. In fact we are completely incapable of realizing the miracle of life while standing at the sink. If we can't wash the dishes, the chances are we won't be able to drink our tea either. While drinking the cup of tea, we will only be thinking of other things, barely aware of the cup in our hands. Thus we are sucked away into the future -and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life.”
― Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Miracle of Mindfulness

[Dee]

Perfect quote, Mz NR! Yes, Thich Nhat Hahn is an amazing teacher of Mindfulness, and washing the dishes is one of his favourite examples! I think you will enjoy his book.

Funnily enough I was listening to one of his lectures this morning whilst I was doing the dishes! What would he have said about that? Lol.

I have actually a serious dilemma about this!
I often listen to stuff whilst doing mundane jobs like washing up or ironing. I always listen to stuff when I’m driving. Most people are, aren’t they? It’s a relatively simple multitasking, where our main focus is on the listening. I know that any more complex multitasking is really not a good idea, and is really not mindful at all, but I need to find out where do mindfulness teachers stand on listening to the radio whilst doing jobs?

[Dee]

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”


― Viktor E. Frankl